I was working on multiple businesses, at the same time I was having existential questions, questions that kept me reading and researching, nothing was working out, my businesses were not working and it felt like there are some inner areas in need of exploration, in need of attention, I felt like I need to take a step back and look at those inner dynamics, look at my inner wounds, look at my inner beliefs, look at my dark emotions, look at my shadows, give them the space to exist, give the space to be acknowledged, but despite of these sensations, I continued working on my businesses pretending that everything was OK, trying desperately to make things work, until the year 2022 came. Suddenly, the darkness, the inner dynamics were magnified by at least a 100X, there was no escaping it anymore, it became a reality, a reality that cannot be hidden, I had to face it all, I had to look at all those dynamics and a part of me knew that this is not gonna go overnight, that it's a process that will take time, despite of this knowing other parts of me were trying to resist this reality No No No, you are giving me more darkness? All of this darkness?, I need things to work, but it was like the universe's ticket to me to look at all those dynamics, to become aware of everything that is going on within me, it was the universe's way of giving me the permission, the time and space to look at all these inner conflicts, inner questions and inner dynamics that I tried to escape before, it was the time to become aware.

In the early days, I was overwhelmed by the darkness, I was feeling that it is a lot to handle, that I can't do it on my own, despite all of this, I felt like I was alone, all the shadows, all the darkness you can think of started coming my way, I was even having suicidal thoughts, in the early days, it was just me sleeping on the couch doing nothing, I stayed this way for at least 6 months, I had no money, I had nothing, I couldn't even buy anything, I had business deals going on from before that I didn't have the energy nor the confidence to follow up on them.

After those first 6 months ended, I started trying different things to handle this darkness, I tried therapy on an online platform, but I didn't have the money to even continue using therapy, I started trying different things, journaling, meditating, these things were helping a little but it wasn't that big of an impact, I started going out with some friends at the time, getting out of solitude step by step, I started seeing some small very small incremental growth later to realize that it was compounding in time (the growth rate was exponentially growing) until a time came and I started feeling ready for taking on some small projects to make money, so I got a project and made a small amount of money, used this money to get a coach to help me in the period, I got 2 coaches, I am not gonna say it didn't help, it helped but it wasn't that big impact I had imagined. After that, I started feeling ready to start following up with my clients from before the darkness, some of them owed me money, so I got my money and I moved out of my parents house and lived alone for a year.

When I moved to live alone, approximately 9 months since the beginning of the dark period, this was the period that the growth rate grew exponentially, I started having the money to invest in books, in courses, in resources that would help guide me, I started reading a lot, doing courses, in fact a period came where I did nothing but reading and taking courses, I tried different techniques, started extracting insights, started growing, started applying different knowledge and started growing more and more. The compounding of the growth rate continued growing and growing. I hadn't gotten out of the darkness yet, but at least I had room to breath, I had room to reflect and grow which was amazing! after some time, I even travelled, I started having fun while also working on myself from the inside, the inner work didn't stop, it was compounding.

After months of growing and evolving, and the compounding of the growth rate in time, I found myself out of the darkness, having taken a lot of lessons, I continued on the reading and growing track and I find myself growing everyday, letting go of what no longer serves me and giving room and space for new insights, new versions of myself to unfold and emerge.

There is a lot more to the story to cover in one blog post, but I will cover more and more in future blog posts, right now, I would like to offer some invaluable takeaways and lessons I learned and that you can learn too from reading this. After all, my intention from sharing this is to provide value and help you apply the knowledge to your own life and get amazing results.

Key Takeaways

Where You Are At: Life is a game and it has stages, the same way we go through stages of development on a body level: child => teen => adult, we go through different stages of development on all life areas (e.g. Business, Relationships, ....), it is different for everyone, it has to do with your mission in life (the version of yourself you desire becoming) and the lessons you have to learn in order to embody and become this version of yourself (e.g. The Wealthy You, The Influencer You). At each stage of the journey in every area of life, you go though challenges and there is specific content (e.g. books, courses ...etc) that if you become aware of and you apply the knowledge in, it will make you more self aware and will get you profound results and accelerate your growth journey. How can you apply this? maybe you are currently reading for the sake for reading, or learning for the sake of learning, instead, ask yourself, what is the current stage of my journey? What should I focus on now? What knowledge would make the biggest difference at my current particular stage? and start reading and taking knowledge that is aligned with your current stage and that would make the biggest difference.
Look At What Is Without Judgement: Whatever it is you are going through, try to look at it without judgement, for example, let's say you became aware that you are feeling weak in some place, instead of saying I am a man I shouldn't be weak and start beating yourself up for feeling this way, start looking at this place without judgement and instead of saying I am weak, say, a part of me is feeling weak and that is OK, I give this part the space and time to be acknowledged, I acknowledge this part of me that is feeling weak. This doesn't mean you are weak, it just means that a part of you is feeling weak and that is OK it is part of the journey of life, it is a common human experience. Doing this will make insights start coming your way, insights for growth, insights for healing, it will blow your mind. Now, please don't take this to the extreme, look at this as a muscle that you are currently training, it will start small but it will grow in time, so looking at what is without judgement is a muscle that you can start developing right away! and you will get better in time.

Warm regards,

Khaled